“An unflinching exploration of emotion and empowerment”: Self Esteem returns with A Complicated Woman
Self Esteem’s latest album, A Complicated Woman, captures every shade of the emotional spectrum in its purest, most beautiful form.
With two albums under her belt that showcase some of the finest work in pop music, including the mercury-nominated Prioritise Pleasure, Self Esteem (Rebecca Lucy Taylor) had left herself with what, for some, might have been a tough act to follow. But for Rebecca Lucy Taylor, challenges have never been a thing to shy away from.
Having thrown herself since her last album into a lengthy Prioritise Pleasure tour across both UK and America, as well as a stint as Sally Bowles in Cabaret, arguably one of the West End’s heaviest roles, Taylor has shown that she’s not slowing down any time soon. Despite often speaking out about the struggles she has faced producing this album, Self Esteem has succeeded in reaching yet another peak.
Set for release on Friday (25 April), the album, A Complicated Woman, takes Self Esteem’s potent, relentlessly confrontational work to a whole new level. Pairing unadulterated expression with both catchy pop hooks and orchestral soundscapes, the album has a cinematic feel to it, bringing further momentum to the singer’s ever-powerful messaging. In a similar way to her past work, the album offers a nuanced exploration of ideas around female existence and the complexities of womanhood, while also featuring a focus on taking back control and overcoming feelings of misdirection.
A running theme of conflicting feelings becomes clear throughout the album, and opening track I Do And I Don’t Care is the first interpretation of these complexities. Following an atmospheric opening with a quietly bubbling bassline, a choir breaks through, repeatedly chanting the titular line, building a grabbing soundscape. The repeated line makes for an arresting opening, before Taylor launches into a spoken word piece reminiscent of her hit track, I Do This All The Time. In a poignant tribute to her career thus far, some lyrics echo lines from the old track, as Taylor opens with ‘Be very careful what you wish for, she said, looking at me all smug’ and another line begins with ‘One day’. Between these tributes are deep, yet witty, lyrics that showcase the exact introspection that has become Taylor’s trademark quality.
Another repeated mantra rings out towards the end of the track, as the choir joins Taylor to sing ‘If I’m so empowered / Why am I such a coward / If I’m so strong / Why am I broken?’.
Next on the album is Focus Is Power. Released as a single in January, the anthemic track benefits from gospel-infused sounds and infectious, affirmation-like lyrics. Like previous songs on Taylor’s records, which have been long lauded for their enticing honesty, the song bears its roots in the Rotherham singer’s past, drawing inspiration from words she wrote on a sticker while working from her parents’ shed during the pandemic. The words take flight into a tremendous jubilation on the record, with soaring vocals from a choir constructed of dozens and dozens of mostly female voices: “A community of people- I want you to hear and feel the connection,” Taylor explained upon the song’s release. The passion and camaraderie is, indeed, beautifully palpable.
From Focus Is Power, the album turns on its heels as it launches into thundering, dance-infused Mother, which, although unreleased, has been a crowd pleaser in the singer’s live sets over the years. The recorded version benefits from additional production, including warped vocals and overlaid choral lashings that feature towards the end of the track. Atop the catchy beat are honest lyrics that protest dependency.
Tackling reliance on coping mechanisms including alcohol to numb emotions, The Curse features soaring vocals and emotion-packed lyrics. The track leans towards a more pared back sound on its verses, which are sandwiched between anthemic choruses that see the track build into a gloriously powerful ballad, again featuring a repeated mantra: ‘I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t fucking work / But it really works / And that’s the curse’.
A softer tone takes over again for Logic, Bitch!, a tender ballad that showcases Taylor’s more vulnerable side. Largely unbacked, the artist’s voice rings out powerfully over pared back piano chords. Her voice is later taken over by an instrumental response that echoes the sung chorus, before being joined by a choir that again draws on the same motif. Towards the end of the track, which is a collaboration with Sue Tompkins, Taylor references past track She Reigns, which appears on 2019 album Compliments Please, in a touching moment, ‘It’s always been you / It’s always been you / But I really cut the chord this time / Yeah I really cut the chord this time’.
The pace picks up again for bouncy dance-pop tune, Cheers To Me. Bringing a completely different sound to the record, the track proves Taylor’s immense versatility, with catchy choruses and relatable, sing-along-worthy lyrics, ‘The worst idea i had was you’. Likely to be a crowd pleaser when played live, the perky track reaches its height as it runs into a football chant-like repetition of ‘Now let’s toast each and every fucker that made me this way / cheers to you but mostly cheers to me’.
Her latest single, If Not Now It’s Soon, features next, infused with messages on self-belief, certainty, and direction, as the album pivots back towards its ballad-heavy roots.
In Plain Sight is one of the most touching tracks of the record. Produced in collaboration with Moonchild Sanelly, the track has a sombre tone, carried steadily by an acoustic guitar motif. South African artist Moonchild Sanelly lends an incredibly powerful spoken word section to the track, with breathtakingly introspective words on the struggles of existence. Impassioned cries of ‘What the fuck you want from me. I’m saving you, you’re killing me. Won't you let me be? I’ve always been free’ follow the spoken word section and feel remarkably poignant as they ring out over the rest of the track, growing to be accompanied by a choir and orchestra.
One of the album’s most standout tracks is Lies, whose punchy, arresting beat and darker sound feels akin to Prioritise Pleasure’s How Can I Help You. The track’s drama-infused approach, with angsty vocals, layered cries and a warping backing track, is incredibly successful. Nadine Shah’s verse lends the track an even deeper level, with vocals that blend well with the rest of the song. As Taylor finishes with forceful lyric, ‘I’ll push through the fatigue, and make you fucking hear me’, the tune slides into a dramatic peak with layered moaning and distorted vocals, developing into a scream that transitions into 69. This track sees Taylor list sexual positions, in a move that she hopes will normalise openness in such settings, filled with messaging encouraging consent, pleasure, and honesty through an electronic lens.
Penultimate track What Now is a beautifully tender, almost fully a capella tune reflecting on growth and feelings of inadequacy. Touching harmonies that develop into powerful unison at the end of the track offer a reminder of Taylor’s more vulnerable side as the album draws to a close, showcasing an applaudable level of intimacy both sonically and thematically.
Soaring album closer The Deep Blue OK is perhaps Taylor’s best song yet. The track feels like the end of a movie: an optimistic resolution. Resting on a nostalgia-imbued, one-note piano track, the song builds into a cinematic, orchestral explosion, with a choir singing in unison, ‘You know what I might try today / I might fucking try today / try today / try today’.
Gloriously positive and infectiously life-affirming, the track is the perfect close to a dynamic album that shows how Self Esteem can showcase every shade of the emotional spectrum in its purest, most beautiful form.